Every Teacher, Every Year

Another 180 days have come and gone so quickly...

2010-06-22T16:45:00.010-05:00

Well, I made it! Another year down, that's 5 years already, with only 20 more to go!

I can't believe that I've been teaching for 5 years! It seems like just yesterday, I began my student teaching. With this completion, I am also out of the "new teacher danger zone". This is the statistic, according to the National Education Association, that half of all new U.S. teachers are likely to quit within the first five years of their career due to poor working conditions and low salaries.

Having taught in one of the worst schools in my area and then at one of the best, the differences within each school are night and day. Unfortunately, usually the only openings for new teachers are in the schools that no one else wants to teach in. So being faced with this poor working conditions is very likely and I understand how new teachers coming into the field can be discouraged.

When teachers are in their education classes, they are encouraged to hit the ground running and change the lives of their students. In theory, it's a beautiful "yellow-brick road" scenario, filled with rainbows, sunshine and lollipops. In reality, future teachers are not prepared for the amount of paperwork needed to be completed on a daily basis; many students, who may be bigger than the teachers themselves and who are constantly disruptive in class; as well as teachers unable to relate to lives and home environment of their students. These are several issues that are NOT taught in college education classes. Inevitably, new teachers come upon these problems within the first few weeks of schools, and many who hit the ground running, end up hitting a huge brick wall. Multiply this with what seems like insurmountable odds year after year, and it is quite obvious why we lose so many good, young teachers.

The deck is already stacked against new teachers. Add to this the little salary that a first year teacher makes, and anyone with common sense would get out of the business. It's a sad, but honest fact, there's no incentive to stay in education anymore.

So why and how do I manage to do it? Why do I keep coming back? It's very simple - the kids! My students are the reason I continue coming back for more, year after year. Let's face it, no one gets into education for the money. There are not huge bonuses for meeting billable hours. There is not a huge salary to be paid if we go above and beyond. There is practically no way to ensure that you are even going to get a pay raise every year. But what we do have is HOPE.

Hope, that maybe a student we teach and inspire, will one day find a cure for cancer, save the lives of many, or become President of the United States. Hope, that in the great universe of karmic connections, the good that we do everyday will come back to us ten-fold. Hope, that we will make a difference in the lives of those we teach, and show each and every student their true potential of what they can accomplish in their future.

If you do this within one year, you have 180 tries to accomplish these tasks. Over your career, this number increases to 4500; more if you can hang in longer.

Make no mistake, teaching is HARD! You have to have a thick skin and a soft heart. But the rewards of your job are worth every challenge you overcome. When a child finally "gets" the lesson you are a teaching, and a light bulb goes off in their head and a huge smile comes across their face, that small fraction of a second, is MY yearly bonus. No, it may not be monetary in value, but it IS money to my soul!

This Pri$e of Teaching

2010-03-17T17:55:00.009-05:00

I know why more teachers drop out of the profession within 5 years. Teaching is hard. REALLY hard!!! I am in my fifth year now and I am ready to implode. This time of the year is the most difficult. With spring break 10 days away, (yes, I'm counting) my students are getting on my last nerves and I know that I am getting on theirs.

Today I implemented a new "pencil policy". Basically it says that no one can use a pencil for the rest of the year unless 1) they have a signed permission slip from their parents, 2) parents buy pencils and sharpeners for their students and 3) students agree to be responsible for their own pencils and cleaning up the pencil sharpener shavings after use. This comes after the 4th, (yes, 4th!) pencil sharpener that I have bought this year, was broken when a student decided to sharpen the eraser part of a pencil. At first, I thought it was a crayon, which sent me into a magenta rage! (Evidently, it is now cool to have a pencil with both sides sharpened. However, then I get to hear, "Ms. G, can I have an eraser?" or "I can't do my test, I don't have a pencil.")My response? "That's fine, use a crayon." If you want to act like a kindergarter, I will treat you like a kindergarten and we will all use crayons to complete our work. "But how will students complete state tests with crayons?" you ask. I am not sure, but if they can't be responsible enough to keep a pencil from one day to another, how will they survive in middle school, when they have several teachers and lockers with two minutes to change classes.

As a caution, I sent parents a letter today to explain the new policy and my reason for such a drastic measure. I gave out my cell number with a note saying to please call me with any questions or concerns. I thought for sure my phone would be bombarded with calls and messages before I left school for the day. But after 3 hours of being home, no calls. Not one. This either means that parents understand my point, or students haven't given parents the letter yet.

Everyone always agrees that teachers have the hardest job, and don't get paid enough for the job they do. But sometimes, this is just lip service. If people really felt this way, send me supplies! Most people do not grasp the concept that EVERYTHING in my classroom comes out of my own pocket, and I do mean everything!!! The tests that students take every week, a box of paper $35.00. Loose leaf paper or notebooks use to write notes and learn information and concepts, $1.99 during the school year, cheaper if you take advantage of school sales in August. Think about how much a parent might spend on supplies at the beginning of a school year. Not counting clothes, $200 at the most. Now take that and multiply it by an average class size (20 kids). That's $2000 at the beginning of the year. By January, these supplies are done-zo! So another batch of supplies is needed at mid year! If I buy this out of pocket, (which I usually do)that's 10% of my salary! (Again, I need to put a disclaimer that these are estimates, but they are not really far fetched. Beginning teachers have it a lot worse because they have more expenses since they are buying everything from scratch. This means posters, bulletin board paper, pencils, papers etc. Plus, their salaries average about $25,000 a year)

Now that I broke down the money situation, is it any wonder why teachers leave the profession? Or why I work a "part time" job, but really average 40 hours a week? Do you know any other profession where you must buy your basic necessities needed to complete your daily job? Have you ever bought pens, copy paper or post it notes out of your own pocket? Do you do this twice a year? And don't even get me started on the hours that I log in over time, at night or on weekends. Would you leave your current job for half the pay but twice the work?

But whenever this argument comes up, the naysayers always have the same response: "Teachers get summers off, two weeks at Christmas and a week off for Spring Break!" Ok, let's do that math. Summer starts mid June and begins mid August. This is around eight weeks. Count in holidays and that make around 10 weeks. Businesses usually allows two weeks vacation time. So we are really looking at 8 weeks vacation that I am "allowed" more than you, which comes to 320 hours. Between lesson plans and grading papers, I usually work 4 hours a night during the week (not counting weekends). That comes to 20 hours a week. School lasts for 180 days, so that's 3600 extra hours that I accumulate. That's a mark up of 9% more hours than you work in a fiscal year. Again, my I remind you that you probably also make twice than me. So, in conclusion you pay me half of your salary, I will work my 8 weeks of "vacation" time during the school year.

How you like them apples?

"The Man" surpises me and "Wood" is gone!

2009-06-17T20:08:00.004-05:00

It's been a week since the last day of school. Surprisingly, there were no big surprises during those last few days of school. We received our scores on our End of Grade tests. "The Man" received a 4 (!!!) on his Reading tests. (The highest score a student can accomplish) and a 3 on his Math test, one of the highest scores in the class!!! What does one say to that??!?!!?

WE DID IT!!! He made it through fourth grade. Struggles? Yes! Suspensions? Of course! Being cussed out almost everyday? Absolutely!!! But we made it. HE made it.

And finally "Wood" is OUT OF MY CLASS!!!! She is now someone else's problem (God, help them!) This was a really hard year and I am so glad that I made it through, even though I "resigned" in the middle of the year. Overall, I realized that this is the school that I want to be at and it is not because of the fabulousness of the institution, but just the FABULOUS staff and friends that I have.

I think the best part of being a teacher at a school like this is that I get to know families and I love when the brother or sisters of previous students say, "Ms. G, I want to be in YOUR class!!!" That makes me SO happy! Until of course the really get into my class.... then inevitably hate me!

But alas, I digress, I SURVIVED MY FOURTH YEAR of teaching!!!! Bring on the SUMMER!

Hearts and Sunshine

2009-04-28T18:36:00.003-05:00

There are days (as I'm sure you've read) that I really HATE my job! But rarely does it have anything to do with my students. Usually it's grown up stupidity that gets me upset. But today was a different story, it was a GREAT day, despite the fact that I did have a fight in my class today.

I realize that I AM a good teacher and sometimes, I do make a difference, however small it may be. I actually got to teach today (novel idea) and in reflecting on how much my students (even the most difficult) have grown this year, put a little smile on my face.

I turned students, who came to me with having very little math last year, (thanks to our superintendent's initiative) into Math enthusiasts, who are pretty efficient. Today, during Literacy, I was helping a student (we'll call him Shorty) who RARELY enjoys working with words. He was becoming so involved with the lesson and was SO happy that he understood and he was having fun with it.

At one moment during our novel study, I looked up from reading and EVERY SINGLE STUDENT, had their nose buried in the book and was thoroughly enjoying the story. Their hands were raised. They were asking questions, predicting and making great connections from their own lives. It was truly magical!

If only I could take this time on task and transfer it to testing day! Why, oh why, can't I get paid for these great days? Why can't my evaluation as a teacher be based on days like today? Why can't every day be like today?

Now, granted I might be jinxing myself and tomorrow will be hellacious. But really, I think it might be worth it because today, I really made a difference. Tomorrow? Well that's another day!

My spirit is so broken.

2009-04-13T20:26:00.002-05:00

The saga continue...

I don't even want to go back to school anymore. The bad part is that with all the "characters" that I have I'm my class this year, it is still bearable. I have hard days because I deal with hard students. That comes with the territory. Every teacher has a hard class, at least one year.

All of this would be ok, but when I bust my ass to give my students, and school 110% and get no gratitude, what's the point. I am a good teacher. I know this and I trust this. But when I received my end of the year evaluation and I am deemed just "at standard", when clearly I go above and beyond everyday. Should this not entitle me an "above standard" status? One would think, but that's not the case in this situation.

Alas, I am just a "standard" teacher, who does "above standard work". I feel that I work harder than most of the teachers at my school , but that's not reflected in my progress evaluation. And due to this, my spirit as a teacher, an educator, and all around good person is completely gone.

My Class Blog

2009-04-01T16:57:00.001-05:00

So my students have entered the technological world and have started their own blog. We have been writing our own stories and this is our chance to publish our work. Please check it out and feel free to comment. My students would LOVE IT!

The link is: http://c8beez.blogspot.com

Thanks for your continued support in all of my educational efforts.

Oh what a week it's been....

2009-03-28T16:11:00.003-05:00

This week has me not only questioning my job, and my place at my current school, but really I am beginning to question my life, and my place in this world. That's ultimately what it has come down to, this crazy place (my school) is making me question EVERYTHING, from how I deal with things, to if I am slumping back into a state of depression, to if I really need to be in education. The really bad part is that because of all of this, my mother is beginning to question my "state of mind" and is really worried about me! Now I know that my mother is going to worry about me anyway, but because I am so far away from her, her anxiety increase.

Here's a breakdown of my hellacious week:

Monday - Dealt with an angry parent of, "The Man" who when I called to tell her he walked out of class AGAIN today, she was furious with me that he wasn't going on the field trip, and that she lost her money.....seriously, people?

ME: "He was suspended THREE WEEKS IN A ROW!!! PLUS, he got mad today and WALKED OUT OF CLASS! He does whatever he wants to do! Being disrespectful to adults, is just par for the course. Are we really going to reward him by allowing him to go on a field trip?"

Her: "Well you said he could go, if I go with him, why can't he go?"

Me: "Because we've already paid for everything and did not count him in, nor included you. PLUS, HE WAS SUSPENDED FOR BEING DISRESPECTFUL AND WALKING OUT OF CLASS THREE WEEKS IN A ROW!!!! When I said he could go with accompaniment it was before he was suspended. Besides I met with you IN PERSON last Monday, you never indicated that you were interested in going on the trip with him!"

Her: "Ms. G, I have so much on my mind, I can't keep up with field trips." (Really, like keeping up with the behavior of your child?) "When is it? Wednesday? I mean that's money that I can't get back that could have gone to bills or something." (Or something like you hair or nails?)

Me: "Well, I suggest that you make him work off the money that he owes you."

Her: "Whatever."

Nice! Ok, so we are not upset because the student is walking out of class, we are more upset of losing $$$. Now I know that economic times are hard, but seriously, I don't go to work to babysit your child. If I was a babysitter, I would be getting paid WAY more than I do for teaching.

Tuesday - I received an email stating that we had to have grades due for our report cards on Thursday at 4. It's TUESDAY at 2:00. (For those of you who are mathematically challenged, that's 50 hours. 16 of which I will be teaching, and my fourth grade had a field trip on Wednesday, so that's 20 that my teammates will be gone/teaching. And I would like to sleep, eat and take care of personal things, approx. 24 hours for this. That's not alot of time left to organize and finalize grades.) So I shot out this email:

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!!!
I don't know where the breakdown is, but to let us know TWO DAYS before the deadline is a complete and utter farce!!! THE FOURTH GRADE TEACHERS WILL BE ON A FIELD TRIP ALL DAY TOMORROW SO THAT REALLY ONLY LEAVES ONE DAY TO GET GRADES POSTED. (And I'm not even speaking for myself, but for my team)
NO, IT'S NOT EVEN ONE DAY BECAUSE ON THURSDAY, FROM 8 - 4, WE ACTUALLY PLAN TO TEACH!!! A novel idea, I know.
I understand we are suppose to keep up with grades, which most of us have, but seriously, the nine weeks doesn't end until FRIDAY!!!~!~
I MEAN, TWO DAYS? SERIOUSLY?

Ok, maybe it wasn't the best thing to write, but the frustration was oozing out of every part of my body. Here's the reply from my "leader":

Emails like this are not helpful. If you have a problem, please see me.

Yes, because that has worked so well in the past when I have had "problems". (see previous blog about crazy student wielding a wooden cross at a teacher)

Wednesday - Actually, somewhat of a good day than I would have expected. I stayed behind from the field trip keeping all the "behavior" students who couldn't go on the field trip. We actually had an instructional day, and though they drove me crazy, (8 of the worst kids on my grade, all put into one room with 5 other kids) there was no major incidents. SUCCESS!!! But I left school with a huge headache which sent me home taking two Tylenol and going to bed!

Thursday - Heading to school early for morning tutoring, had to stop on the side of the road because of a nose bleed, and return to my house to change (blood all over my clothes). This was proceeded by a huge major headache/migraine that was unbearable. I couldn't get my medicine open and couldn't even see, the pain was blinding. (This has happened before, two years ago, evidently brought on by stress and high blood pressure, go figure) Called into school, and went to see my doctor. MRI pending.

Spoke to assistant principal this night to explain why I couldn't come in and that per doctor's orders, would be out on Friday as well. She told me that 3 fourth grade boys (which we have had trouble with all year and went to the "leader" about their escalating behavior, "The Man" was one of the boys, "jumped" another one of my students in the bathroom. Police were called.)

I felt so guilty and responsible, knowing that if I had been at school on this day, this could have been avoided. I am very sad at the whole situation.

I am done. Really done. There is no way I can work under the "leader" anymore. Children are now paying the price due to her allowing things to be swept under the rug. I can't do it anymore.
I have to go to another school or something, because now that this stress and frustration is starting to effect me physically. I just can't take it anymore.

Evidently, now I'm racist!!!

2009-03-05T19:55:00.002-05:00

Here's a breakdown of my day:

1) "The Man" threw a pencil at another student today. When I tried to correct this behavior and explain why it is dangerous, he got mad and sat at his desk, refusing to complete his Math Test. He then began to make noises and was disrupting other students who were trying to take their Math Test. He did not complete one question on his test. He just kept saying over and over again, "Can you call my momma? I wanna get out of this school!"

I asked him to put his name on his test paper. When he came to get his test paper from me, he dropped three pieces of loose leaf paper on the floor. I asked him to pick of the paper that he dropped, he replied, "When I get back!" I said, "Ok," and reached for a referral form. He became so angry, he stormed out of my room, slamming the door behind him.

This afternoon, while walking to the bus lot, I was explaining to him why he was getting suspended again, and that he was again going to miss his Spelling and Reading test for the second week in a row. This is going to have a negative impact on his academics. He yelled at me, "Man, you need to shut up and get out of my face!" He then proceeded to walk back into the school building, though I asked him several times to return to his seat in his bus line. No one had could find him.

I just got off the phone with his mother and when she asked him about what happened and why he got suspended, he said that he thinks I don't like black people!

Great! Now I've been classified as a racist by a disrespectful 11 year old, who does not take any responsibility for his own actions.

Wonderful, what a great day!

Tutoring

2009-03-04T19:12:00.004-05:00

Usually my posts are filled with problems and complaints, but today something happened that was so great, it reminds me why I do what I do and why I love my job!

On Mondays and Wednesday for one hour after school, I tutor two students. (and yes, I do this without pay, because OMG that a teacher would actually do something that would increase student achievement and that is their 'pay', instead of a monetary value. I only say this because this questions was asked of me by a fellow "educator". see previous posts)

So today after school, my students returned to my classroom, ready to get to work. I gave them their after school snack and we got right to work. They were so excited! They wanted to learn and wanted help on certain objectives that they knew they were having problems with. They were like little sponges. It was awesome!

We started with some reading content. I gave them strategies they could use on their state tests, then we did exercises using context clues. I was so proud of them working so hard. When then went on to finding synonyms and antonyms. We had to get a dictionary out to look up a word that they didn't really understand and that's where the learning really happened!

In the back of our dictionary, there was a list of the Presidents of the US. One student, who is sometimes a pain, giving me all sorts of attitude. I call her "Wood". Today, however, she went from the Pain to the Great One. (Judy Blume shout out!) "Wood" found the list of Presidents and then began asking questions about them. I incorporated history, government, math and literacy all together. (Way to cross the curriculum, GO ME!)

"Wood" and "Smiley" learned so much and they were so excited! "Smiley" couldn't stop smiling. He won the Jeopardy game that they played and couldn't wait to tell his mom. I was so proud of both of them.

These are the days that I love my job! I love my students! I love my school! I love life!
All because two students loved learning!

My Kingdom for Another Snow Day

2009-03-03T18:52:00.003-05:00

Yesterday we had a snow day. This is (count 'em) the THIRD SNOW DAY of the year!

Now I don't know about how the universe works; if it is karma, the Lord our savior, or the butterfly effect, but I don't think that it is just a coincidence that every time we have an "incident" at school, the next day we have a snow day. Something is trying to tell me something!

Here is my proof:

Snow Day #1) January 20, 2009 - Inauguration Day - Day before my birthday. This was the universe giving me a birthday present. No explanation necessary.

Snow Day #2) February 4, 2009 -Wednesday -
Fought with Special Education teacher on work not being completed for my students. After NUMEROUS meetings, and no change in work effort, I LOST it in front of Asst. Principal, Literacy Facilitator, and Talent Development Coordinator. "Leader" was no where to be found (go figure) but this would have been the 12th meeting with her, and still nothing changed.
After this I was called into the Principal's office, (yes, I'm a 9 year old again) and was yelled at because I failed to follow the chain of command, and went over her head. Even though, my team and I met with her on several occasions and nothing was ever resolved. I finally took matters into my own hands and had to pay the piper. (As I say to my students, I needed to suffer the consequences for my actions.)
I then returned to my classroom and tried to teach, and was cussed out by a student. GREAT!

Due to all of these reasons, I really needed a day off, and the next day>>> SNOW!

Snow Day #3) March 2, 2009 - Monday
After my two hellacious days of battling with the "leader", (see previous posts), do I really need to explain why I needed a day off?!?!?!?

Now, don't get me wrong, I love the days off, because I really wanted it, but I HATE having to make up these days. As of right now, we already had to give up our President's Day workday. Our workday scheduled for the end of this month, has now become an instructional day and we have to make up that workday during Spring Break. Now because of yesterday, we do not have Memorial Day off. Really???

Now for those of you who are complaining that you "didn't get a snow day" yesterday, and those who are sarcastically saying that teachers "have it so hard...my job doesn't get snow days.... blah blah blah." May I please say that I saw the list of closings yesterday and the businesses that were closed were longer than the schools that were closed! I bet those professions who didn't have to go to work yesterday, don't have to have a make up day! SO SUCK IT!!!!

With as much work as I have to do trying to redo my lessons for the week (really the rest of the nine weeks) to add and subtract these damn make up days, it really wouldn't hurt my feelings to have snow days 'till August 24!

(For those of you who don't know, that when the next school year starts.) I am so over this year!

I Quit!!! Part II

2009-03-01T14:55:00.005-05:00

Sorry to all those who were anxiously awaiting the conclusion of my neverending saga. It took a little longer to write than I expected.

When last we left the heroine of our story, me, I had just left the principal's office after handing in my resignation. The second I left her office, the tears came to me flowing like a river. I cried down the hall. I cried up stairs, and I cried down the hall all the way to my classroom. I cried and cried and cried. Several teachers who heard me boo - hooing all the way down the hall came in to comfort me. I cried so hard, I couldn't catch my breath. I was so disappointed and saddened by what had just taken place. My spirit was completely broken. But I still had not realized the magnitude of what I had just done.

As a side note, I later found out that after I left the office, the principal said to the rest of my team, "I guess that's another teacher who doesn't care about student achievement."
(OH NO SHE DI IN'T!!.... Uh, yeah, she did)

Sitting in my classroom crying with every ounce of my soul, I recounted the events to the teachers who had followed me into my classroom, and who were concerned about my well-being.
They just sat there and let me vent, like all good friends do, and were astonished when I told them what I had done. They couldn't believe it, and to be honest, neither could I.

As they listened and played devils advocate, they began to ask the questions that, at the time of my resigning, I did not think of, "What are you going to do? Are you going to finish the year? Are you going to stay in education? Where are you going to go? What's your plan?"

Plan? What plan? I didn't have a plan!!! I didn't even PLAN on giving my resignation. It was just something that I did, JUST IN CASE I needed it. I never thought I would use it. That wasn't my PLAN!!! I was just angry! I was tired of fighting. I wanted a resolution and all I got was accusations and the run around. Instead of finding peace, I found myself in the middle of an internal war. ( I guess an external war too.)

I stayed at school for the next two and a half hours, crying and talking to my friends. I kept replaying the whole situation over and over again in my mind. What could I have done? What should I have done? What would I do now? I didn't know. I didn't have any answers. But the hard part wasn't over yet. Yes, ladies and gents, the hard part was going to be telling my parents.

So I called my mom. Now for those of you who know my parents, you know that they love and support me in whatever I do. Whatever I decide to do, they are always there to back me up, or so they say. Remember, I had done this before (see previous post: 69 days). And while my mom is pretty easy going and usually sees my reasoning and is GREAT at pointing out all sides of the situation, my dad... not so much!

You see, for my dad, there is only ONE WAY of doing things, HIS WAY. There's the right way, the wrong way and "Jr's way". I didn't think that the way that I had chosen, was in accordance with "Jr's way." So I called mom and told her first (I've found that's always the way to go). At first, she didn't believe me until I explained what had happened. Then she said, "Well at least you didn't put it in writing." Um, ok she didn't get the jist. This was going to be harder than I thought. "Uh, no mom I did put it in writing and I gave it to her."

"WHAT?!?!?!" she screamed. Ok, I think she was starting to get why I was crying so much. And then she said the two words that ALWAYS let me know what kind of trouble I was in. "RENI MARIE!!!!!" Yep, I was in some serious TROUBLE.

Now, you do realize that I'm 31 years old, and I live 12 hours away from my parents. But I still value my their opinion and usually pass all big decisions in my life by them, just to hear what they think. I forgot that part in this situation. I think I hear d her screaming my name (both first and middle) all the way from Louisiana, and not over the phone.

I assured her that I was going to do the right thing, but at that moment my head was so foggy and I was still at school. I told her that I would call her back after I had calmed down. (Yes, it was almost three hours later and I still had not calmed down. Still crying.)

I spent the next couple of hours on the phone talking to friends, (thanks Michael) and mom's of my friends (I love Marianne) and my assistant principal, as to what should be my next step. I got some great advice both legally and professionally. (Though I think Marianne's suggestion of telling my principal to go screw herself was just a figure of speech.) I decided I would sleep on it and make a decision in the morning.

The next morning, I got up early (actually I never really went to sleep) and headed for school. I thought about calling in a sick day, but I decided I wasn't going to let my principal get the best of me. I was going to do what was best for my students, and that was to go do my job to the best of my ability. I arrived at school, put my stuff in my classroom and went down to the prinicpal's off. I sat in the chair outside of her office and waited for her to come in, and waited and waited and waited. (Seriously, I felt like I was 9 years old again) The assistant principal came in. Other administration staff came in. And every single person that saw me waiting for our "leader" gave me a hug and asked me not to leave. It restored my faith.

When the principal finally arrived, I think she was astonished to see me waiting for her. I asked if I could talk to her in private. I went into her office and sat down at her table. I confidently explained that my letter was written out of anger and frustration. And while I didn't regret anything that I said in the letter, and I still firmly disagreed with her on many issues, I did regret resigning, not for my own ramifications, but for what would happen to my students. My decision was purely a selfish one. They didn't need or deserve one more person walking out of their lives. I wanted to rescind my resignation because it was in the best interest of my students.

Then she said something to me that was almost laughable. She said, "You really hurt my feelings." (Seriously? Seriously.) I told her that that wasn't my intention, nor was it my intention to prove a point, start a battle, or be dramatic. I really felt that I had no other choice, especially since she told me that I needed to "find another school" to teach at. Honestly, all during the meeting, she made me feel like I was a little kid instead of a professional. But she did give me my letter back and I went along on my broken spirit way.

So here I am, I still have my job, at least for the rest of the year. I don't know what my next step will be. I have decided to just take it one day at a time. I will devote my efforts to my students, and not play the politics of the situation. I have about 65 days left in this school year, and I know in my heart that I have done everything I could to find solutions to the staggering amount of problems that our school faces. Ultimately, she will have to deal with the consequences of her actions. I will continue to give 110% everyday because that's what my students need and deserve. What will happen next, is in God's hands. LGLG!

I quit!!!

2009-02-28T16:40:00.007-05:00

On Thursday afternoon, I quit my job.

I know what you all are thinking. WTF?

But let me explain. The story goes something like this:

On Wednesday, while one of my colleagues/friend and her class was on the playground, one of her students (We'll call him "Crazy Boy", CB for short) threw a ball at another student. My colleague took the ball away from this student.

Please let me start this story by saying that I was not outside on the playground, because my class had PE that day, and we didn't need recess. If I would have been outside, the following incident probably would not have taken place.

Anyway, back to our story. After CB threw the ball at the student and my colleague took the ball away, CB was so angry, and decided to go on the other side of the playground and found two huge 4X4 and 4X8 pieces of wood that were nailed together like a cross. (I know what you are thinking, what the hell was this doing on a playground where children have play time? The answer is I have no idea, but that's where we are) Anyway, CB picks up this "weapon" and begins charging at his teacher and tries to hit her. Now, this is not the first time that CB has tried to kill or maim someone. At the beginning of the year, he picked up a chair and went to throw it at another student to which I got between the two boys and asked CB to put down the chair because I was too cute to be hit by a chair. (Sarcasm, does work in these situations). CB also stabbed another student in the hand with a pencil. Now you may be asking yourself, why CB is still attending our school. Here in lies the problem.

Ok, let's return to our story. So CB is in one of his "moments" and is charging for my colleague. Luckily, she got her students up to the school into safety and away from danger. She also deflected CB's thrashing and was not physically injured. The police were called, a report was issued and CB's dad was called to take him home. He was "suspended" for 10 days. No, not expelled, "suspended". (I use this term loosely and you soon find out why).

Now, the next day, my colleague and I received a visit from "the powers that be" to retrieve information and statements from my colleague and other witnesses. We were then informed that because CB has a a learning disability and is receiving special education services to help him with his "problems", he cannot be held accountable for his actions. Therefore, legally, he has the right to return to school. (Ok, now are you beginning to get the drift. This is why education is so fucked up and teachers are get nothing accomplished with students. We are basically fighting situations like this everyday.)

So because we were gravely concerned about CB being allowed to come back to school after trying to attack a teacher, my team and I decided to meet with the principal about the situation. The minute we walked into her office, as a fourth grade team (6 in all, one had tutoring and one was not there. One came into the meeting late, so we walked in as 4) our "leader" says, "I really see no point in this meeting." We began to express out concerns for CB returning to school. She said that we were jumping to conclusions and that we were too emotional.

We explained what we had learned today and asked if we could maybe all meet with her and "the powers that be" to express our concern for our safety and the safety of our students, "That's not your job. It mine!" she said.

We then explained that the attitudes of our students were escalating. It wasn't just CB but several of our students were going "out of control". If CB was allowed to return to school, it would show other students that there were no consequences for their actions. The disrespect, the cussing and yelling at teachers, the walking out of class, basically children doing whatever they wanted and getting away with it, we were so tired of it! We were looking to her for leadership, guidance and suggestions of what could be done.

She told us that our school was "a hard school". We had to learn good classroom management and stick to it. I explained relentlessly that it wasn't just our team. "It's all teachers at the school, in every grade level. Can't you feel it? Don't you feel how the moral in the school is so low? Don't you feel it permeating through the halls and being pushed onto our students?"

To be honest, I can't remember exactly how she responded to this statement. But it was something like she just threw up her hands, and said that there was nothing she could do. Suspending students was not always in their best interest.

I explained that we were not asking for suspension, but a resolution to this huge problem. Her response, (wait for it) "Well maybe you just don't need to teach at this school."

And with that I handed in my resignation and left her office.

So I'm a therapist, but don't get paid like one

2009-02-28T16:11:00.006-05:00

Every Monday and Wednesday after school, I tutor two students who are having difficulty with basic fourth grade objectives. I do this on my own time for the betterment of my students. (Just in case you're wondering, because another teacher asked, "Are you getting paid?"

"No." I responded.

"Really? Then why do you waste your time?"

UM, BECAUSE I GIVE A DAMN YOU LITTLE DIPSHIT!!!! GOD, HELP ME THAT I WANT MY STUDENTS TO ACTUALLY ACHIEVE AND SUCCEED!!!!)

But I digress, back to tutoring. On Monday, one of my tutoring students, we'll call her "Wood" asked me, "Ms. G, are we having tutoring today?"

"No, baby I have to go therapy. We will meet on Wednesday."

"Wood" gave me a funny look and returned to her seat. At the end of the day, as we were walking to the bus lot she asked again, "So we are not staying after school?"

"No, I have a doctor's appointment."

"Do you really go to therapy?" she asked. I could tell she was thinking about this all day.

"Yes." I answered.

Still thinking, (I could actually see the gears turning in her head) "But isn't therapy, for like, crazy people?"

I smiled. It's amazing how kids think and what goes through their little uncultivated minds. "No, sweetie. Sometimes adults just need time to talk to someone about things that are going on in their life. It's nice to have another adult to listen and not judge them."

Wood : "So, you are like, my therapist. Because you listen to me and help me."

Me : "Yeah. I guess you could say that." Funny, I never thought about it that way. "But if that's the case, I need you to pay me $100 everytime you 'talk' to me."

Wood: "Dang, you must be rich or something, because only rich white people go to therapy."

Me : "No, babe. It's called 'Health Insurance'. I only pay a little my insurance takes care of the rest."

Wood: "But why do you need to go?"

I had to laugh a little. "Because you all get on my nerves, and in order that I don't "Go crazy" like you said, I need to go to therapy to make sure I'm not driven off the deep in."

I could actually see the light bulb go off in her head. She laughed and with a smile says, "I got you, Ms. G! We are really bad sometimes, and I'm glad that you get to talk to someone so that you can come back to teach us. Have fun at therapy!" And with that she skirted off to get in on her bus.

I just stood there thinking, "Me too, Wood. Me too!"

A dedication...

2009-02-28T15:55:00.003-05:00

This post is dedicate to my favorite blogger, Ms. Mimi at :
www.itsnotallflowersandsausages.blogspot.com

Seriously, it's my favorite educational blog. (Well, after mine of course). Take time to go and view all of the great posts. But this is my favorite because it echos my thoughts and sentiments exactly. So here it is:

This blog is dedicated to all the ass-kicking teachers out there (especially those in public elementary schools- holla)!! I have taught in the public system myself for many years and am currently pursuing my second advanced degree in education.

Teaching is my passion and I love nothing more than being with my students. However...teaching isn't all rainbows and kittens...there's a whole other side to teaching which makes it one of the most difficult, mind-bending excercises in patience ever!!! I whole heartedly believe that teachers demand a million times more respect and consideration than they currently recieve. Who else could shape the future of education better?

Just FYI for those of you who don't know a teacher personally...it's not all half glasses, flat behinds and thematic sweaters. The teachers I have met are some of the smartest, funniest most amazing people ever and they shatter the stereotype most of you have in your mind. We're not Michelle Pheiffer in Dangerous Minds, but we're also not up-tight b*tches with meter sticks.

Basically, there are two types of peoples working in schools....my fellow rockstars and a bunch of IDIOTS who have no business near a school. And these are the monkeys who are dragging the rest of us down. Seriously, it sounds harsh, but there are some real losers out there who really did take the job for the few days we have off in the summer (please, don't even start with me with the whole "must be nice to have summers off" crap because it's NOT the whole summer, it's about 7 weeks, and it's long overdue since I hold my urine for eight hours a day, five days a week, 180 days a year).
These people are the ones who can't master the photo copier, feel it is beneath them to work a full day and insist on leaving before the children do. Come on teachers, you know who I'm talking about. That lazy moron who shows up in the middle of your math lesson and wants you to chat, or that lazy staff developer who spends her morning reading the newspaper while you are running morning meeting....do I need to continue?Well, this blog is ABOUT them and DEDICATED to YOU!! (because you ROCK!!!!)

This is my attempt to not let those jerkoffs get to me, to make me laugh at their ridiculousness and to keep me focused on what really is important....the kids.

No! This didn't happen to you too!

2009-02-21T11:38:00.003-05:00

This week, a colleague of mine came to me inquiring about one of my little darlings being suspened! I was totally confused! I had not given him a write up, nor did I know about any misbehavior from his other classes! What misbehavior had taken place that I was not aware of? It must be a mistake!

I went searching for the Assistant Principal to inquire about the incident. She was not in her office, so I walked across the hall to the home of our fearless leader.

"Ms. Leader, quick question, would you happened to know why "The Man" was suspended? He's not here today, but I just assumed he was sick until I was told by Ms. FaFa that he had a refferal."

"Yes, I suspended him!" responded our Leader.

"Oh. OK. Well may I ask what happened, because I was not aware of any incidents arising."

She proceed to tell me the following story:

"Well yesterday, there was an incident of the bus. Ms. Assistant Leader went on the bus to relieve the situation, he was being very rude and disrespectful. She had to take him off the bus, and brought him to my office to call his mother. When he entered my office, he was yelling and screaming at Ms. Assistant Leader, smacking his lips and rolling his eyes. I told him to change his attitude and he refused and was rude and disrespectful to me! Once his mother showed up, he continued to be disrespectful to her, and continued to have an attitude with me. So I told him he was suspended for two days, until he learned some manners! A student can not disrespect their Principal like that, rolling his eyes and smacking his lips."

"The Man" being disrespectful to an authority figure. Shock and awe! I tell you, Shock and awe!

"Well Leaders," I proceeded, "Welcome to my world. I get disrespected every day by "The Man". If I am not cussed out by him, it is one of my other darlings that have to save face infront of their peers. I've written him up several times because of his attitude, why should this time be any different?"

"You just can't come into the Principal's office carrying on like that and being disrespectful."

"What did his mother say about his suspension?" I asked.

"She just said that she knew his attitude would get him in trouble one day. He was being extremely rude to her as well."

"Well, I'm glad she knows that it's not just me. And that I'm not just picking on him."

"No, I will not accept that behavior."

"Um, I hope you understand that I don't either. But smacking his lips and rolling his eyes is a daily occurence with "The Man". If I would write him up for every offense I would spend my days just writing refferals."

"Well, you just don't do that to your Principal."

With that I left, learning a valuable lesson:

A student my cuss his/her teacher out daily, rolling his/her eyes, smacking his/her lips. He/She may threaten to kill teachers and other students. Violently thrashing about the classroom, and proposing to attack anyone who gets in their way. They may run out of class, tripping over the garbage can and act like complete lunatics. But if you disrespect a principal, only then will you have the consquence of suspension.

Gee, I must have been absent when they taught that one in my education classes!

Parent - Teacher conference #2

2008-11-22T12:59:00.003-05:00

Last year, in an effort to make my 100% participation from parents at conferences, I had to try to be a little creative (such an important trait for a teacher).

I had schedule all my conference for one day and most parents said they could meet on this day. I had a few parents that requested another time due to their work schedule, which I was more than happy to oblige. By any means, right?

There was one parent (who later became a thorn in my side all year) that couldn't bother to drag herself out of bed to come for a scheduled conference. This was not surprising to me since she had three other students in my school and two of these students were having MAJOR problems in school, and she never bothered to show her face. These students included a kindergartner who would throw VIOLENT temper tantrums at school because she didn't want to be there. Ultimately, this little girl was switched teachers, in order to try and make her feel safe, given incentives for every hour she didn't' throw a tantrum and stayed at school, and basically was given the option to not even be in class, as long as she was at school, this was considered a huge accomplishment.

But I digress. Anyway, about a week after several attempts to meet with this "no show" parent, I was at my wits end. This one unconcerned parent was keeping me from reaching my 100% goal. What could I do to get this parent to meet with me? I was considering a home visit, when the "conference gods" smiled upon me and gave me a solution.

It seemed that her other "troubled" child, who was in the third grade, decided to kick, hit and hurt his teacher along with trashing through his class, with the force of a tornado. Due to the extreme nature of this incident the police had to called, and they in turned tried to contact the parent. Even with this situation, "Ms. No Show" didn't feel it necessary to be bothered to come to school and obtain her son. The police paid a visit to her home and basically gave her the ultimatum of either coming to school or going to jail. She chose school.

It just so happened that I was in the office as this mother was being escorted into the Principal's office. I stayed around for a bit. While the officers talked to her and explained the severity of her non-parenting skills, I waited for my chance. And then it happened. The officers stepped out of the office to speak with teacher and principal about the incident that had transpired. With folder in hand, I scooted into the office to conference with the parent. Bold, huh?

I told her that I knew she had a lot on her plate at the moment and I hated to add one more thing, but if I could just have a minute, we could discuss her child's progress in my class and then she could get back to the matter at hand. She agreed, we talked and discussed concerns I had with her child. She signed the conference form and I was in and out before the police returned. As I walked away down the hall, proud of my huge coup, I was stopped by my assistant principal and asked why I was coming out of the Principal's office, where the police had been and Ms. No Show was stationed.

I simply replied with a smirk, "Oh, I just had a parent-teacher conference with Ms. No Show. This was the only time she could come in."

"You just held a conference with her? While she is in police custody?" she asked.
"Yep, sure did. Oh and here is my conference sheet, as you can see I made 100% participation again this year. Hope this helps you with downtown."

I handed her the sheet and walked away with her mouth still open.

Victory was mine!

Parent - Teacher Conference

2008-11-22T11:27:00.005-05:00

So every year, at the end of the first nine weeks, we have the dreaded parent - teacher conferences. Our administration pushes us to receive 100% participation from parents, meaning attempt to meet with all parents. This makes administration look great to their bosses downtown, and makes my life a little easier if I meet their goals.

So for the past three years, (pat my back) I have strived and succeeded to conference with every parent of every student in my class. But it hasn't come very easy, I must say, but I get my conferences by any means necessary.

My first year at my school, I had a student who had a twin in another class. We tried desparately to schedule one conference for this parent. Working with my colleague, we scheduled a time that we could meet together. The parent would come in ONE TIME and we would meet together to discuss both children. The parent, of course, didn't want to visit the school at all, but since we had trouble with both students, it was more than a necessary.
So on the day and time of the perspective meeting, the other teacher and I met and waited for the parent to show. And waited, and waited, and waited. The parent was (wait for it) a no show. I'm sorry, I didn't realize that your child's education was so trivial to you, that you can't come in for a SIMPLE MEETING, to which two teachers worked hard to find a convenient time FOR YOU!

We then tried to do a phone conference (yes, this does count in 100% goal, but a face to face is encouraged). We had about 6 contact numbers for these two students, you would think that at least one number would work. Negative. All 6 numbers were either disconnected or not available. Another road block. We stopped there. But I wasn't giving up.

The next week, we had our annual "Fall Family Fling". In which students would come to school, dressed in Halloween costumes and play games for prizes. Families also received free pizza and drinks. Wouldn't you know, free is the key word, and this family. including the mother, (whom I had tried desparately to come to school, but who couldn't be bothered with a conference) free food and games, and she was in! When I saw her in line for pizza, and gingerly walked right up and said, "Ms. Blah-Blah, I'm so glad you could come tonight. After you get your dinner, why don't you come to my classroom before the festivites start and let's have a quick conference about Baby blah-blah's performance in class." BAM! She couldn't say no. She was caught like a animal in a trap. I escorted her up to my classroom and had my conference while she ate her free pizza.

Lesson learned: A child's education is not as important as free Papa John's and a coke.

I have too much on my plate, can you please not add ANOTHER thing?

2008-10-07T16:54:00.003-05:00

So on top of teaching Fourth grade (all subjects), I am head of two committees, have two mentees, and two part-time jobs. Needless to say, I have a lot on my plate.

Inevitably, someone, somewhere in my school will come to me and ask me to do one more thing. Whether it be one more committee , one more piece of paperwork, one more parent to call, one more meeting to set up, I can not handle ONE MORE THING!!! I am up to the brink of things that I have to do. WHY OH WHY, does people think that teachers have all the time in the world to do just one more thing.

I am sick of paperwork. I can literally drown in all the papers on my desk. Things that need to be done, things that should be done, things that people want me to get done. I am thinking about just dumping my whole desk in the recyclable file cabinet (ie the trash can). I really don't think I can be handed on more paper, one more worksheet. I am at my limit and I am about to crack.

This blog is my only refuge. It is my cathartic way of dealing with the stress. I just hope that it lasts long enough until the next tragedy takes over my world.

Fat - less

2008-10-06T01:15:00.000-05:00

In a recent lesson reviewing suffixes, we were talking about the suffix "-less", meaning "to be without". I began asking students for words that they knew with the suffix "-less" and to use it in a sentence.

Though her intentions were real and genuine, one of my students raised her hand ready to give me her very best sentence. With a stong voice, she answers, "Ms. Guidry is fatless. Like, without fat!" I was very impressed with her trying to overcome my self-deprecation, I replied, "Well, thank you for that sweet sentiment, but fat-less is really not a word. But I am glad that you tried."

It's nice to know that my students see me better than I see myself.

A new year

2008-09-12T21:58:00.003-05:00

Last school year ended on June 10, 2008. This was the last official day with students. However, teachers had to come for an extra four days to clean up, pack up and get things ready for the next year. So this was the beginning of my "summer break". Since teachers have three months off of not doing anything, I couldn't wait for my relaxing vacation......

YEAH RIGHT!!! This is how my summer "vacation" was really spent":

The very first week of "break", I attended three mini workshops on Team Building activities in the classroom, "What Good Teachers Do Differently" by an awesome educational speaker, Dr. Todd Whittaker, and another workshop on Rigor and Relevence in the classroom. I was doing all this while holding down my other two summer jobs.

Week Two was spent taking another course. An education symposium on Urban Education. I wanted to be able to use this information from this workshop to help the students in my school. This was one of the best workshops that I had taken for a long time.

Fast forward to July, where I took a three day course on Mentoring Beginning Teachers. One of the most important thing that a "veteran" teacher can do, to ensure that the new teachers who are coming in, will stay. The turn over in our school is ridiculous. It's a hard school ,with a low-socio-economic population. I wanted to help, to give back to all the "mentors" in my career who helped me.

This brings me to August, when I could finally get into my class toset up for working on this year. Remember I am still working two other jobs, so the time that I had to actually work IN my classroom was very limited. Meanwhile, all summer I was sending emails setting up programs to help my school become better. What can we do to get parents involved? How can we bring up our scores? What can I do to become a better teacher and infect others with this challenge? These were my ultimate goals.

Foward to the "first week of school" for teachers. Monday was a "meet and greet". Getting to know the new teachers (21 or so) and learning of all the new "rules" that we would have to comply with. Did you ever notice that sometimes it feels that teachers have more rules that the students do? Hello? Are we all adults here? Evidently not, because this year it felt like we were getting bombarded with more things we HAVE to do, and ALOT of this we COULDN'T do anymore because other teachers didn't do their job last year.

This brings me to two full days to get my classroom ready before parents and students showed up for "Back to School Night". Overwhelmed does not even cover how we all felt. And I am a fourth year teacher, the stress on the new teachers were even more. But we made it through. Yes, some of my posters weren't (and still aren't) put up. Files that I wanted "go through" and "get in order" were never accomplished. But I made it through with no big upsets. Until I realized that I had only three days before students came and it was the " First Day of School".
A new year. 180 days to change the lives of 17 students......

Parents

2007-12-17T19:22:00.000-05:00

Every year, along with the mountains of paperwork, administration and curriculum that we have to face, another "problem" that all teachers have to overcome is... parents. Please let me explain, that for the most part, I have wonderful parents in my class, who really care about their children and their education. But it seems like every year, in every class, I have a handful of parents who could care less about what is happening to their children in my classroom.

Let me say this: I AM NOT A BABYSITTER!!!!! I AM A TEACHER! I AM AN EDUCATOR!
I have a job to do. My job is to teach YOUR child, to become successful IN SCHOOL. It is not my responsibility or duty to teach YOUR child how to behave when they are away from your clutches. School is NOT a daycare to send your child from the hours of 8 to 4, so that you can have free time. My job is in a classroom, where everyone should have the opportunity to learn without distractions from YOUR child. I am so sick of students who come to school and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! Only for me to get a call from you to ask, "What are you going to do to help my child?" I'll do my job, when you do yours.

Secondly, when I do call you for assistance with your child, DO NOT say, "I know. He treats me the same way at home." THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM! You need to gain control of your child and have a "come to Jesus meeting" with him or her. If I EVER treated MY teachers the way that some of my students disrespectfully treat me, my daddy would have my butt! And though, many children these days come from single parent homes, it is not an excuse for ANY child to treat an adult disrespectfully. If you are a single mother, God Bless You! But I have several mothers who are parenting their child by themselves. But did you catch the verb there? It's PARENTING. Try it sometime. It's hard, I know. But it's your job, duty and responsiblity to ensure that children are treating their teachers, and other adults, with the same respect that they have for you. If they give you no respect, DON'T EXPECT ME TO ATTEMPT TO GAIN RESULTS IN MY CLASSROOM, THAT YOU DO NOT DEMAND IN YOUR HOME!

Lastly, when I contact you with a problem, or give you some suggestions on how to make your child more successful, I AM NOT LYING!!! Children play adults against each other. Whether it be mom against dad or teacher against parents, all children try to "get out" of trouble by making excuses why they could not or would not complete a task. I am not "out to get" your child, I am here to help. I am not trying to "fail him/her", because my job depends on their achievements. If you feel I "just don't like him/her", then get your child out of my class! My whole career is based on the fact that I LOVE CHILDREN, ALL CHILDREN! The only person that I "don't like" in our relationship, IS YOU!!!

SO GET OFF MY BACK! I AM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN WITH THE WHATEVER YOU SEND TO ME, AND I AM NOT A MIRACLE WORKER!

Thank you for listening. I will now get off of my soapbox because I have test papers to grade. Yes, just like you, my job never ends either.

31 kids and a blind girl

2007-09-16T14:32:00.000-05:00

This school year, with all of the trials and tribulations that are faced in every classroom, I am unfortunately put into the an unsatisying situation of having 32 students crammed into a little class. We are like sardines in their little tin container. One student being a child with special needs. She is legally blind. How am I suppose to teach in this environment? Are they trying to make me quit? In any case, I better be at least nominated and considered for Teacher of the Year.
What makes matters most, is that my area superintendent paid us a visit and came up with a list of things that we have to be in compliance with by tomorrow. This "ticky - tack crap" as I have labled it, has nothing to do with student achievement or making my job easier. If anything, these things that I have to do, will actually make my job harder and more time consuming. But it will make her $100,000+a year job easier to check up on us with a checklist that is quite absurd. Also, there is no end in sight to my sardine can obstacle. I hate it! But I guess, we all have bosses who are stupid and we can't stand.
There are, however, good sides to my year. As with last year, my students make me smile daily. For example, last week we spent Tuesday discussing 9/11 and Patriot's Day. I tried to get my students to understand why we remember that day, those who have risked their lives, and those who continue to risk their lives in the war. My students came alive with questions and comments about why we are fighting in Iraq and when were we going to get Bin Ladin. They were fascinated. My teachable moment prevailed. I had succeeded.
Later that week, we were finding articles in the newspaper about Risks and Consequences for our Concept/Question board. They were again enthralled with displaying the topic. Many found pictures and articles about football players who took risks of injury every week. Some found articles on the Consequences on 9/11, pictures of the towers and Ground Zero. There was also a picture of Osama in the paper, showing the new picture that may or may not be of him from the video that may or may not be from him. And in that teachable moment, one of my students came to me with the picture cut out for me to see. "Look, Ms. Guidry!" said the proud student beaming, "This is the man that is trying to kill us with the toilet paper hair!" After laughing hysterically, I began to beam, knowing that even with 32 students in my class, I was still able to get through to them. Even if we were learning in a sardine can.

Kenny Boo

2007-08-05T20:52:00.000-05:00

When I was a first year teacher, I taught sixth and seventh graders for 69 days. (See previous blog) In one of my seventh grade classes, the class clown was a 14 year old boy named Kenny. Kenny was a below average student that I continually tried to change. I struggled very hard to make him interested in my science class, but Kenny was more interested in being social. He was constantly talking during my lessons and could care less about the Life Science that I was teaching. It was very obvious that Kenny was way more interested in making his classmates laugh, than learning about cell division. But, I must admit, Kenny was indeed funny. Even though he was a constant distraction to my teaching, he was also very entertaining. He made me laugh on several occasions and I really liked having Kenny in my class.
Kenny was liked by everyone. Students were constantly calling his name in class to ask him a question or to tell him to do something to entertaining. One day, I noticed that his classmates always referred to him as "Kenny Boo". I thought this friendly nickname was cute, but was curious to find the origin of the "boo" part. So during class one day I asked, "Kenny, why does everybody call you, Kenny Boo?" And with his arms opened wide, and a shrug of his shoulders, Kenny smiled from ear to ear and explained, "'Cause I'm every body's "Boo", Ms. Guidry!!!" Of course he was! What a silly question for me to ask! Like I didn't already know the answer?
I never forgot about Kenny. Out of every student I taught for that brief period, I remember instances and situations, and stories from the different classes, with different students. But, to be honest, I can't remember one name of one student from my sixth and seventh grade class. I remember faces, but every name eludes me. Every name that is, expect for Kenny. Because he was "every body's Boo", he was obviously, very memorable.
Over the next few years, I thought about Kenny every now and again. I wondered what happened to my very first class clown. I wondered if another teacher had succeeded in getting through to Kenny, where I had failed. I wondered if he eventually took his studies as serious as he took his socializing. Then one day I received the answer to all my questions about Kenny Boo.
I was driving around my home town, listening to the local radio station. The hour news report came on and there was a story about a shooting in town, in which a young baby was shot through the hand. The story immediately caught my attention because I thought how sad it was that an innocent 9 month old baby girl was caught in the middle of a gun battle and was hurt by it. When I got home, I told my parents the story about the baby. I was still very saddened about the news, but at the time, it was a story that happened to someone else. At the time, I had no connection to the shooting. It was just another sad news story that I had heard about, and one that could not be prevented.
The next day, I was listening to the radio again when a follow up story on the shooting came on the news. The full story about the baby girl was that she was caught in the middle of a gang shooting. At the time, she was being held by her father, whose was the shooter's intended target. Again, I was saddened by the news for this baby. When I finally got home, I felt compelled to look through the newspaper, (something that was very rare for me as I usually received my daily news from other sources). For some reason on this day, I wanted to find more on this little baby. With the newspaper in hand, something immediately told me to turn to the obituaries. What was I looking for? An article about the baby? Why? The news said nothing about the baby being deceased? When I turned toward the latest deaths, there it was, a picture of the baby's father, with his name in bold print: Kenneth "Kenny Boo" Williams.
At the age of 18, Kenny had been killed, as the radio reported, in a gang related shooting. At the time, he was holding his 9 month old baby girl, (his second child). Kenny was shot four times, with one bullet penetrating the hand of his daughter through and through. Kenny died immediately, and although his daughter would have reconstructed surgery on her hand, she was predicted to make a full recovery.
I read Kenny's obituary several times. At first, I could not fathom that this was the same student that had once been my class clown. I went back and counted the years that it had been, and did the math. I realized that the young student in my class and this shooting victim was one in the same. Besides, how many other young men were known as "Kenny Boo" to his friends and family?
I felt very guilty about Kenny's death. Teachers are suppose to change the lives of their students. To me, I had let Kenny down, again. I didn't change his life. I didn't try hard enough to help him with his academics. I didn't care enough. I didn't stick it out, and because of this, Kenny's life went down the wrong path. His humor was enjoyed by many, but his daughter would never be able to experience it. Now, I realized why I was so saddened when I heard the story. From that day forward, I vowed to always be there for my students. I vowed to be the best teacher that I could be, and always change the lives of my students. I knew there would be no guarantees about the my students' future, but it would not be because I didn't try. And from that day forward, every day of my teaching career, every accomplishment and every achievement would be dedicated to Kenny Boo. Because he was one student who taught me a lot more, than I ever taught him.

Halloween Candy

2007-07-07T00:36:00.000-05:00

Since Halloween fell on a school day this year, I was curious (and a little afraid, I must admit) as to what awaited me the day AFTER Halloween. I was hoping that maybe some of my students would perhaps forget about the holiday all together (which unfortunately, was not the case). On the day in question, I eagerly awaited my first students. I wanted to get the 411 on the Halloween festivities and wanted to know the plans that the students had for the night.
As my first student came into my class, I called her over to my desk. She was so happy and could not wait to tell me all about going trick-or-treating for the night. Unhappy that my wish was not coming true, I lied and told her that I thought it was great that she was going trick-or-treating around her neighborhood. Suddenly this student started laughing. It seemed that though I was the teacher, she had to teach me the "rules" of Halloween in "the hood".
First, I must preface this story by describing my students to you. You see, I have 24 African-American students and some are of a lower socioeconomic background. So when I asked my student if she was going to get candy around her neighborhood, she looked at me like I was crazy. "No, Ms. Guidry", she explained, "We don't get candy in MY neighborhood. " My education on Halloween candy continued as she explained to me "the way things go" in her "hood". She told me that people in her neighborhood did not give out the "good" candy. People in her neighborhood gave out "the little Snicker bars from the Dollar store". So when my student and her friends went trick-or-treating, they traveled down the street to "the rich, white folk neighborhood". Evidently, "rich, white folks" know the right candy to purchase. My student preceded to tell me that when they traveled into the "rich, white folks" neighborhood, they received "the BIG Snicker bars". "Rich, white folks know how to give out candy," she said with a snap. These prizes were way better than the skimpy ones given out around where she lives.
I couldn't stop laughing. Who knew that children understood where to find the "goods" like their adult counterparts could find the best bargain pricing? I felt compelled to explain to my student that not all "white folks" would be giving out good candy. I told her that I was apart of the "poor, white folk" category and I would NOT be giving out "skimpy" candy bars because I wasn't giving out any candy this year.
"Now you know that ain't right Ms. Guidry," she responded. She was right, it wasn't right. But then again, I am far from being a "rich, white folk". It was definitely an educational experience for all.

From 8 to 3

2007-07-05T21:50:00.000-05:00

In my first year of teaching, I had no idea what I was doing. I truly believed that I was going to "change the world" in a single year. I knew that I was the one who would "make the difference", secured with the promise of a utopia from the teaching profession: eager students holding on to my every word, ready to learn. We all know, of course, that this was not the case. Not in the least!

What I did find, were students who could have cared less about school or what I had to teach them. To make matters worse, I had absolutely NO management skills whatsoever, and to my detriment I had achieved the one thing that my methods professor told me never to do....... I smiled before Christmas! I was a goner from the very first day.

I still struggled, however, to break through to the other side. I desperately attempted to make a connection between me and my students. I tried everything that I could think of to make them want to do well and behave in my class. In a last stitch effort, I elicited the help of the only person I knew who could really impact the life of my most troublesome student. The only one who could make him behave and respect me as his teacher.

I choose this student because I knew that if I could just get him to participate in class and give me the respect that I deserved, surely the others would conveniently fall in line. So one afternoon, I stayed late after school and went into the teachers' lounge to make my "saving" phone call. ( It should be noted here, that this advice came from a veteran teacher, who told me never to call a parent from my home or cell phone because then the parent could ID my number and would have a way to contact me outside of school. She obviously did not know the caliber of parents to which I was dealing.) I dialed the number listed in the my student's information file. My stomach was in knots waiting for someone to pick up on the other end. One ring......two rings...... three rings...... yes! I thought to myself, "Perhaps I will be saved and will just be able to leave a message" avoiding the confrontation that would surely ensue from actually speaking to this parent. I wanted the problems with the student to cease, of course, but actually pleading my case to this mother, scared the life out of me.

Four rings......then "Hello?" came from the other end. OH NO!!!! I would have to explain my plight. I quickly got up the nerve and began describing to this parent the distracting behaviors her child was demonstrating in my class. I described how this behavior was not only hindering the learning process for her child, but of course, hurting other students in my class as well. I implored the parent for help to correct the interruptions from her son.

I knew that I had pleaded my case well, and surely she could hear the desperation in my voice. I just knew that she would sympathize with my dilemma saying how sorry she was and she would scold her son as soon as he got home from school. I knew that she would assure me that I would have absolutely no other problems with her son in my class.

There was a brief pause in the conversation, as I waited for her to respond to everything that I had just told her. I felt her absorbing all the information, eagerly awaiting for directions as to what she would like for me to do next.

Finally, she responded, "Well, from 8 to 3, he's your problem!" and hung up the phone.

Is it June 8th yet?

2007-05-25T18:42:00.000-05:00

June 8th, the last day of school. The final frontier. I am so ready for school to be finished. The students are ready for school to be finished. The parents are ready for school to be finished. This year seems like such a long year.

This week was End Of Grade testing, thanks to President Bush and "No Child Left Behind". However, it seems the only people who are being "left behind" are me and my colleagues. I am exhausted. It seems like I have worked all year to prepare students for three days of testing, just to discover that this test does not seem to be much of a concern to them. Of course their parents are concerned because it determines what they have or have not learned this year. I am concerned because it shows how well I taught or didn't teach the material. Administration is concerned because it shows how well our school is achieving our goals. The only people who are not concerned, are those taking the tests, the students. They could care less!!!! It's not their job on the line. It's not their bonus schedule in jeopardy. Sure, they may get held back a year, and may not go into the next grade, but these days, that is not a very big deal to students, especially my students.

You see, my grade, fourth grade, is not a "gateway" year. This means that they do not "have to pass" the test, in order to pass the grade. I have several students who have not passed Reading or Math, can not complete ANY of the standards required of a fourth grade student. When I brought these students up for retention, I was told to "wait and let's catch them next year". Meaning that fifth grade IS a gateway year. Next year, if my students don't pass their End of Grade tests, they can not be promoted into the sixth grade.

So, what is the result? I have three students who can not read on a fourth grade level, who can not add or subtract properly, much less multiply or divide. Students who can barely write a clearly defined sentence much less a whole paragraph. These students will be going on into the fifth grade, and will be "caught" next year. Aren't we setting these students up for failure? What about those students who did work their hardest to succeed? Don't we owe them something for doing their job? Aren't we teaching students that it's ok to screw up during the year because we have to pass them anyway because it's not a "gateway" year? What will become of these students? It's days and weeks like this that I hate being an educator!

69 days

2006-12-23T20:45:00.000-05:00

My first teaching experience out of college lasted a mere 69 days. That's right 69 days!!! I thought I was going to be teaching students. Turns out, it was more like babysitting. I began teaching 6th and 7th grade students in my hometown. I made many mistakes along the way, which I have learned from and will never do again. I hope to list my troubles here, so that perhaps in the future, my misfortune will help another unsuspecting first year teacher.

Rule #1) Always start the school year at the BEGINNING of the school year. Due to the fact that I was on contract with a previous employer, I could not start until two weeks after school began. BIG MISTAKE!!! HUGE!!!! It was all down hill from there. If you can't start on the very first day, you must rule with an iron fist at least until Winter Break, otherwise they will eat you alive.

Rule #2) You are their teacher, not their friend. I always wanted to be the cool teacher. The one that every kid liked. However, I realized during this time, that the students liked me, but they in NO way respected me. This was where I lost them.

Rule #3) If you are a 22 year old female, right out of college, and you are teaching 6th and 7th grade boys, whose hormones are going crazy, it is DEFINATELY NOT a good idea to wear pantyhose. Once, I leaned on a desk and crossed my legs. A male student had to be "excused" because he heard my pantyhose crinkle and it "turned him on". AAAAHHHH the joy of puberty!

Rule #4) Dealing with Parents - Most students don't care about their education, because their parents don't care about their education. I remember a call that I made to a parent about troubles that I was having with a student in my class. The parent's response to me was, "Well, from 8 to 3, he's your problem. YOU deal with him!" CLICK! ....... Nice huh? And thank you for your support.

There are many more rules, ideas and brainstorms that I would love to share. Please stay tuned for another installment. However, before I go, let me just say that my last day at this school ended with a student throwing a chair at me, and I passed out in class.

But that's another story for another day.....

What they don't teach in student teaching....

2006-12-22T21:49:00.000-05:00

So when you go to college and you obtain a degree from an accreditted institution of education, you believe that you have been equipt with the necessary tools and an arsnal of theories to help you to manage and handle your "First Year of Teaching". You are an EDUCATOR!!! You are ready to hit the ground running, molding young minds, changing the world of tomorrow for the better, right?...... WRONG!!! Inevidably, you hit the ground running and you hit a brick wall!

Things are not like they were in the "ideal" classroom of your student teaching experience. There, you had another teacher. Someone who could help. Someone you could lean on. Someone who could be there for you when the S*&^ hit the fan. In "real life" teaching, there is no one! It is only you. You, among a class of children waiting for your next move. It's sort of like a chess game of life. Except you ALWAYS have to be thinking four and five moves ahead. Or you will never survive. I don't care how many Harry Wong books you've read, things are about to get stressful.....

We all go through it, every teacher, every year. The newbies and the veterans. Believe me, you are not alone. Here you will find stories that will help you get through your roughest times.

Hope you enjoy!